I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Randomize
