Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
