I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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