Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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