She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize