Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
