Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
