I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
