After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I want a musical about memes.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
