Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
