My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
