During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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