your room smells of hookers.
And success
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize