turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize