Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
