she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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