im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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