I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
