Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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