kristin has been a bad kristin
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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