her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
