So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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