cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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