i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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