My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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