The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize