I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Barsexuality is the new black.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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