If that was your dad, he is hot
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
