he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
