when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
So squirting runs in the family.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize