I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
