All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
