My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Vodka?
Forever.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
