This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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