If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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