i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
