tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
