He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
