The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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