He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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