I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
No more Irish car bombs ever.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
