if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
