i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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