I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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