I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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