How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You can't motorboat a personality
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize