that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
