Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
