3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
