I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
