My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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