porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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