I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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