Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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