I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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