What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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