Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
