so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
