I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
