i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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