mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
