so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
