Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
